The summers at Illinois were perfect. Busy streets, people hustling for summer breaks, ice cream flavors ready available at one click and happy flocks of students playing in the backyard.
At Oakmound drive lived a boy, who seemed oblivious to all of the above. He sat in one corner of his room and made no sound of his existence, until one day when he wrote this on a piece of paper:
“I am prepared to grovel, to humiliate myself abjectly, because in circumstances silence will stand feeble.” If you are willing, put on the costume of evil hawks and get ready to be a part of an unsung melancholy. But remember the part you are about to play has high wagers to pay- of everything you ever loved is about to change.”
This note still reminds Amanda of his son’s agony, which she knew nothing of. It has been three years since her son passed away. The last words that he wrote if deeply scrutinized, clearly depict that he was suffering from things that he wrote in four to five lines and eventually ended up taking his life.
No parent would want this for their son? I am sure, even the thought is repulsive to its own nature. What Amanda missed could be a lack of parental advice or a mother-son connection. Parental advice that definitely shapes the mind and heart of your children. So how close are you to your child or are you aware of your child’s activities. If you are struggling to find out how not be Amanda, here are some parental advice tips that might just help.
The critical parent
Good conduct is a result of disciplined behavior. A system in place where binging on TV/phone/tab is prohibited and play timings are set on the clock. These are signs of a critical behavior in a parent. It does not necessarily mean that you are scorning your child for not completing his/her homework on time. It is more about learning from the consequences and then adapting rules critically.
In the end, such practices will not only inculcate good habits but keep them away from getting influenced by the toxic elements in society.
The good parent
There are no parameters for measuring love. It is unconditional in cases of children. A good parent will probably listen and understand everything a child has to say. They are small and reckless at times but that doesn’t mean their opinion has no room for discussion. Understanding their mind, having an open heart for their views can bring a lot of change in both of your’s relationship. Don’t force everything on your child. Sneak into every moment of connection and talk to them. Most vitally set an example before them.
The rewarding parent
Humans have a tendency to shy away from showering praises. This is true even in the case of your own children.Rewarding them for little things like making thier own bed can be a sign of positive reinforcement. Plus it is a good way to start a day.
Usually, criticism comes more easily than signs of praise. You will chide him/her for being late than giving appreciation for passing a test he/she failed last week. So make room for praise and correction simultaneously. You will surely feel more connected to your kids when next time they do the laundry only because you praised them for washing the dishes the night earlier.
The ‘always there for you’ parent
Take it realistically and don’t just say it. Kids need your time and attention more than you think. Missed soccer matches because you were in a meeting. The last summer trip that was canceled because you had to go on a business trip. Everything can disconnect you from your child in no time. Money is important too, but so is time management. It’s simple, money won’t buy your child’s happiness. But your presence can make a huge difference.
So take out time by getting up early. Have breakfast with them. Drop them to school. Discuss and make a conversation. Then head to the business meeting you had been preparing for so long. Eventually, your kids will forget how you missed last year’s annual function but will remember the funny conversations you had while dropping them to school.
The help-seeking parent
If you feel like your child is behaving differently from the usual-self. Don’t ignore it! Start by having an indirect conversation. If you feel the conversation is not going anywhere. Do not hesitate to take matters into your own hand. Take consultation for your child, provided the circumstances are getting out of hand. Do not lose your temper or say harsh things. Be productive towards the behavior of your child by seeking help from sources you think can help your child best. Most importantly, don’t give up!
Like a sapling is ready to become a plant against all odds, so is your child. Make sure that you are noticing the behavior of your child. Keeping a check on his emotional tendencies and living each moment with them. The process between growing and learning can either make or mar the future of your child. So make sure you tend to your child as nature tends to its creation.